This time, her last sleep would be with me. Sometime during the night she died. Over the past few months she was having painful bowel movements along with weight loss.
Friday night I noticed excessive panting and could see how much weight she had lost. Cavalier's are the friendliest dog on the planet. As our son Matt often said, "She doesn't have a mean bone in her body."
From the time she woke up until lights out at night her tail was wagging. She was thrilled to get her ears scratched by anyone and even more excited if you let her up on your lap.
In fact the term lap dog could have originated with this breed. If she was curled up with me in my recliner she was with my wife enjoying the comforts of being close to those who cared for her.
Upon hearing of such a sad loss people often ask if you'll get another. In our case the answer is no. We've had several dogs that had to be put to sleep for one reason or another.
The loss tears your heart out. It's like a funeral parlor here at our house. Neither of us has fully come to grips with her passing and allowed ourselves a very good and hard cry.
At our age along with some physical limitations showing up, a dog is another worry, a responsibility that we don't think we can adequately care for at this stage in our lives.
The issue for us is we feel she is still with us. We expect her to come bounding into the family room or bounce up on the bed.
When I get up in the morning I'm tempted to ask my wife where is Molly. There are just too many reminders of a darling little dog who meant no harm to anyone or anything. That wanted nothing more than to be loved, fed and kept warm.
We feel we made a great home for her. But at night, when it's dark and we say our prayers, somewhere out of a deep recess within us comes the question, do you think you did all you could do?
I've written too many stories on this subject to be writing another. Yet here I am trying to organize my thoughts so you will understand the pain we all feel when we lose something or someone so close to us.
The days go by but don't get any easier. Indeed, more remembrances of her short life keep showing up on the front burner of what passes for life.
When told of Mollie's passing our two grandchildren in England-Ewan, six and his sister Lily, 5-remarked that they would have to say goodbye to her when they get here this summer.
Molls, we miss you with all of our being.
Our cute Molly, the best dog we ever had.