Sunday, June 8, 2014

Water is not always the best thing to sustain a marriage

Yesterday, June 6, 1944, known as D-Day, is an historical day not only for the significance of the bate the U.S. and other allies fought on the beaches of Normandy, France but coincidentally, it's also the 50th anniversary of my marriage to Patricia Ann Heermans.
Another interesting fact occurred about four years ago when we had a chance to visit the invasion beaches where 1000,000 solders died trying to come ashore and gain control over the Nazi regime that was in poster at the time.
Now that you have some historical perspective and understand the importance of June 6, both as anAmerican for personal reasons and as a couple for our own reasons, I'shed some light on the marriage end of things.
We, or I should say my wife Pat raised our four children. They've all turned out to be honest, productive citizens who make anyone proud.
Wherever we go we received complains about how polite, helpful, and concern for others our children has done."You two did an amazing job of raising them the right way," is the usual comment.
To set the record straight, my wife did the raising. She brought her sense of values and how people should be reared into our marriage learned at the knee of her dad who was an Episcopal priest for 50-plus years.
For an example, before we had children and early in our marriage, I was attending the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Academy. After class one day we went out. I noticed someone on the street and made a derogatory comment about them.
"Why would you say that, Roger?" You don't know that person. "Well our instructor today on patrol tactics said he always looked for the bad in people and had never been disappointed."
"Of course he hasn't been disappointed. It's harder to look for the good in people and find it," she said.
Good advice I should have listened to. As our family came along she began to be tagged with the household duties and teaching the kids right from wrong while I was working eight hour shifts as a policeman, tun drinking all the alcohol I could find during my time off.
I wasted a lot of years, working and sleeping hangovers off therefore missing some great family actives.
I'm not proud of my actions. I am proud how my wife had the internal strength to step in and do the right things while putting up with me and my behavior.
So for 35 of those 50 years she supported me in very way possible. I say 35 years because it's been that long since I've had anything to drink stronger than wine at communion.
I'm one of the lucky that lived through all of this without hurting someone or myself. Goodness knows what it did to my family.
And I am very fortunate to have a wife that was wise enough to stay in the background, go about her business and prayer very hard that some day I would come around, see what a beautiful family I have and change my life.
If someone were to ask me what is the one thing I would do different, without hesitation it would be o never take a drink.
The rest of the changes, like spending time with my family and being a real dad and husband would have naturally followed.
Happy anniversary Pat and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you have done for me.

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